My Journey Begins

5:43am.  Ugh.  4 hours of sleep. Again. And ... Yup. Migraine is STILL there. Fabulous.  

I should be used to running on empty by this stage in life. Diagnosed with insomnia at 19, by mid-30's, you'd think I would rejoice at a solid 4 hours of sleep since my average is 2-3 hours a night.  I still find myself filled with anxiety as nightfall nears, wondering what time I'll fall asleep tonight and curse at the birds every morning as I try unsuccessfully to fall back asleep. It's a very, very vicious cycle.  And I can mark on the calendar when the migraine will be here thanks to female hormones. Despite daily medicines to prevent them, they still haunt me month after month.

As I stumble into the living room, tripping over baby toys I didn't pick up from the night before because I was too exhausted, my half-aseep mind wanders aimlessly.  I often wonder how I can go from being a complete disorganized mess one day, my ADD so apparent I annoy myself, to becoming almost OCD-ish the next day. How is it I can be ok with leaving scattered toys all over sometimes but other times I can't got to bed until every toy is in the EXACT place I have decided it should be placed for the night when I know in 8 hours it will only be thrown wildly all over my living room again?  Am I the only crazy woman out there like this?

I suppose I can't be.   When I finally have that much needed time to catch up with my best friends, all wives and/or moms like me, we all share the same stories and frustrations about everyday life.  Most of us wish for more patience with our children, more energy for the long days, more restful sleep at night and a desire to simply feel better over all.  We spend so much time just trying to make it through from the time we wake up to the moment our head hits the pillow, usually running on empty long before tucking the children in. Days become weeks, weeks become months and before we know it, we are all saying the same two words to each other: "time flies!" 

So I guess what  I am realizing is that I am  like every other woman out there, with ambitions and dreams she wants to fulfill but fears she never will. I'm like every other wife who loves her husband with all her heart but the day to day tasks have slowly exhausted her and it feels like a lifetime ago since they were in that "honeymoon" stage. I'm the same as the moms who can never forget the joy and wonder the moment that precious newborn was placed in their arms but now find it hard to stop and enjoy the moments of everyday life because we are simply trying to make it through today. No, I'm not not the only one whose memory is failing her, whose body won't keep up with her to-do list and whose spirit some days is anything but joyful and gracious. My "ah-ha moment" that has me wanting to make some big changes is that I am no different than you, dear reader and that you are no different than me!! 

In light of this realization, I have decided that I am embarking on a new journey. One that will take me to a healthier, happier place in life. I want to energize my mind and calm my soul. I want to live every day again instead of simply getting through the day! It's a good thing my best friend of 29 years introduced me to this product called Plexus she's been using that has transformed her life in just the ways I need to transform mine or I am liable to have a major meltdown soon! I nearly tackled my hubby this week when I realized he had gotten the mail and my Plexus order was in his hand! That's how excited I am to try it! Hey, it's a crazy life and I'll take all the help I can get! If reading this (sometimes insane!) woman's humorous attempts at taking charge of her nonstop but beautiful life helps empower you, my blog will have served it's purpose! So live through me and with me. Watch me take charge of my days instead of letting them run me over at speeds that exist only in Nascar racing!  Life is messy, unpredictable and fun.  It's real!!!! But it's also filled with awesome, unforgettable, incredible moments along the way - moments that make it all worthwhile! 

If you haven't heard of this Plexus stuff, you will - I promise.  But for tonight, it's off to bed for me.  Tomorrow will be here soon and I need all the rest I can get to tackle it head on!